What Friends Are Not (3 Things Friends Are Not!)

Focus of Thought:

What is a friend? As you grow older the definition of a friend changes. The friends you saw everyday, you see only once a year. You connect through text and post. You see their pictures, you think about them, and wonder “If only we could be together again”. Life moves fast, and things come and go. We all know friends go, but what about the friends that “come”.

Loneliness wants friends to come faster, but they may need to wait afar off. Everything, including loneliness has a purpose.The infamous season of loneliness can be quite crushing, because of the abundance of vulnerability that overtakes you. When lonely there is no other fortress than God to keep you. Every situation and emotion, whether good or bad, must be spent when God.

It’s funny that writing about loneliness feels great. In essence, friends may be few, but God is everything you need. In reality, it seems quite terrible, but there is no better relationship than a relationship with God. The sooner we learn this, maybe, the faster our friends will come.

Expression of Thought:

If it helps, we all have an amazing friend. “No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends” [AMPC] John 15:13. Jesus loves his friends, and no other love in the world can come close to the love Jesus has for us.

Even though he is a great friend, while on earth, many did not treat Him as such. If you think about it, as a perfect human being, he was mocked, beaten, despised, and betrayed because He chose to love. If you may be wondering why you don’t have many friends, think of this: If the world could not love and properly treat perfection, how on earth could the world better treat you?

Rule#1 Friends are not validation of who you are. Friends might point in the direction you are going, but they do not validate who you are.

Before Jesus’ disciples were cut to twelve, he had many disciples plus thousands of people that adored him because of His works. Surrounded by many he knew one thing about people. “Jesus [for His part] did not trust Himself to them, because He knew all [men]...He Himself knew what was is human nature” [AMPC] John 2:24-25 . When Jesus worked miracles for others, people took kind to Him. When He told the essence of who He is “ Whoever continues to feed on Me [whoever takes for his food is nourished by Me] shall [in his turn] live through and because of Me” [AMPC] John 6:57, supporters and disciples began to fall away. Rule#2 Friends can never support the fullness of who you are. Even the supporters and disciples that remained never gained full insight of who Jesus was until he left this earth.

Your story has not been finished. Every detail of who you are, only God knows, and in this moment it may be hard for those around you to understand, even yourself. Some friends will stay and many will leave, but it is only God who can sustain your being.

#3 Your friends are not God. Only God can solely testify about everything you are. “[You have managed my affairs and You have protected my person and my rights]” [AMPC] Lamentations 3:58. God is your best friend and advocate. No relationship could ever come close to filling that void. He knows the best of you, and the worst of you and still stands by you without wavering His promises concerning you. What friends can do that?


So, what are friends? They are only imperfect representations of God's friendship. They can never take His place. Knowing this, you can appreciate the bonus support you receive from your friends, because they are truly a blessing.

Think of this, as God is omnipresent, believe that friendship is all around when you feel lonely. Friends count in quality, not in quantity.